Sanity rule #3: A rut is nothing more than a grave for the living.
Ruts are a surefire way to stay in one spot for far too long. You can tell by the feeling of a slow undetectable death and heavy boredom that subtly creep into your soul. The aching feeling that something is not right on your personal radar screen of life. The inner longing of wanting something more and not knowing what it is. The feeling of unrest that you carry deep within you, day after long, tedious day. Your job is boring. Your friends are boring. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is boring. Your marriage is boring. Your hobbies are boring. Your thoughts are boring. Your life is boring. And darn it, so are you!
The true definition of a rut is: A long deep furrow made by the repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles. As highly interesting as you might find that, the next definition I found staples my concept right to the emotional wall of our lives:
A habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.
Lets sat that one again: A habit or pattern of behavior…. that has… become…dull and unproductive…but…is hard to change.
Lets wrap that one up and put it under the Christmas tree, because honestly, that’s where a lot of us are today. Bored. Unproductive. Stuck. Not moving. Emotionally dying.
Let’s put it in perspective.Raising kids is very hard work,extremely rewarding and God knows it takes a good chunk of time to accomplish. But, holding on to it when the nest clears is emotionally dangerous. College is a fantastic tool to use to get ahead in life. But if you stay past your third Masters degree, then something is very wrong. You know, comfort can be your greatest downfall. If you’re too comfortable to make a move, then it’s highly indicative that you should make a move. No one wants his or her grave lined with their favorite couch upholstery.
I truly believe that a majority of mid-life crisis’ stem from ruts. There is nothing worse than blowing out those birthday candles only to realize that what should have been the best years of our lives were spent merely surviving and not really living. Monotony, apathy and procrastination are the welcome committee of Rutville. Have a seat, relax and stay a while…and stay a while…and…stay a while…
Please, do not take what I am say as a reason to trade in your spouse for a human version of Ken and Barbie, blow your 401K on e-trade or say goodbye to your family forever. The fact that you might find yourself in a rut is no reason to make worse choices! I will repeat what I said in Sanity rule #2: be brave and try some new, cool things that you’ve never done before. From bungee jumping to college apps; voice lessons to walking every day….do something new! Again, I reiterate…don’t be a jackass, be the leader of your own life. Rule it, don’t let it rule you!! Enough said. Just remember, there isn’t a large market for high-end, designer ruts. Don’t leave yours behind to fall back into. Burn it and walk away. You’ll be glad you did.